Love is a beautiful thing, however, feeling disconnected from your partner can be a confusing experience. While it’s natural to sometimes feel “off” in your relationship, the truth is, that both depression and falling out of love can manifest with similar symptoms, making it difficult to pinpoint the cause of your emotional distance.
Have You Fallen Out Of Love Or Just Depressed?
According to studies, the exact cause of depression is not known making it difficult to know if the spark has faded, or if something more profound is at play. Notwithstanding, one of the key differences between falling out of love and experiencing depression is the underlying cause of these feelings. When you fall out of love with someone, you no longer experience the same level of attraction that you once did. This can lead to a sense of apathy or indifference towards your partner, as well as a desire to distance yourself from the relationship.
On the other hand, depression is a mental health condition that can manifest in a variety of ways, including feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and worthlessness. If you are experiencing depression, you may find yourself struggling to find joy or pleasure in activities that you once enjoyed, including spending time with your partner. You may also feel fatigued, and irritable which may impacting your ability to engage with your partner and maintain a healthy relationship.
Here are key signs that may indicate you are dealing with depression rather than a change in romantic feelings.
1. Persistent feelings of sadness, emptiness, or hopelessness
One of the hallmark signs that you are depressed and have not fallen out of love is a persistent and overwhelming sense of sadness, emptiness, or hopelessness. If you find yourself constantly feeling down or hopeless, even when there is no apparent reason for these emotions, it may be a sign that you are experiencing depression.
Research reveals that this feeling can be more intense in the morning hours and can be accompanied by other symptoms like lack of concentration, losing interest, and loss of appetite.
Sometimes you may even experience guilt and say things such as ‘It’s all my fault’ or “What’s the point”? You may also constantly criticize yourself or feel unworthy of love and affection.
2. Loss of interest or pleasure in activities you once enjoyed
Depression is a steal-joy that takes pleasure out of the things people love. As such, you should watch out for a significant decrease in interest or pleasure in activities that once brought you joy or fulfillment. If you find yourself no longer enjoying hobbies, socializing with friends, or engaging in activities that used to excite you, it could be a sign that depression is at play.
In 2020, Mental Health America reported that 90% of people with depression identify with a loss of interest in several activities they used to like. Others even add that they experience decreased sex drive.
3. Changes in appetite or weight
You may also experience depression in physical symptoms, such as changes in appetite or weight. Since everyone reacts to depression differently, some may turn to food for comfort while others lose their appetite leading to significant weight loss or gain.
Most times, these changes can point to an underlying emotional issue, rather than a simple shift in romantic feelings. One way to know if dietary changes are related to depression is if they are intentional or not and that’s what only you can tell.
4. Difficulty sleeping or oversleeping
According to research, most depression often comes with a lack of energy and an overwhelming feeling of fatigue. As such, a depressed person may experience either insomnia or hypersomnia and since they report feeling tired or sleepy rather than depressed, healthcare professionals may miss the true cause of this.
You may find yourself feeling physically and mentally drained, even after minimal exertion. In most cases, this lack of energy can impact your relationship with your partner and make you feel you have fallen out of love.
If you find yourself struggling to fall asleep, waking up frequently during the night, or feeling excessively tired during the day, it may be a sign that depression is affecting your sleep patterns.
5. Forced Happiness
Hidden depression is sometimes called smiling depression and this is because some depressed people tend to hide their symptoms by appearing happy while in the company of others. However, these fake smiles and laughter may sometimes slip, leaving the person feeling sad, hopeless, and lonely. At this point, one may become vulnerable and express just how they feel.
Read Also: 5 Love Languages Everyone Should Know
6. Alcohol or Drug Use
Studies show that one in five people experiencing anxiety or mood disorder, also have an alcohol or substance use disorder. This is because some people with depression turn to alcohol or drugs to help them cope with negative emotions such as sadness, loneliness, or hopelessness.
7. Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
Depression can impair cognitive function and lead to difficulties with concentration, memory, and decision-making. A depressed person may just trail off during a conversation or just get lost in thoughts and sometimes without full awareness of what’s happening around them. Additionally, you may find yourself struggling to focus on tasks, retain information, or make simple decisions.
According to a study in 2014, this lack of concentration has an impact on one’s mental clarity and can make work-life and personal relationships challenging.
8. Irritability or restlessness
In relationships irritability and restlessness may set in. However, persistent restless feelings that interfere with your daily life may be a sign of depression. This sign is more common in men than in women since the former are less likely to recognize depression or even seek treatment. Some men also experience escapist or risky behavior, substance abuse, or misplaced anger.
If you find yourself easily agitated, short-tempered, or unable to relax, it may be worth exploring whether depression is a contributing factor than linking it to your lovelife.
9. Physical symptoms
When depression sets in, you may not know what to expect. However, it can sometimes manifest in physical symptoms, such as headaches, racing heart, tight chest, digestive issues, or unexplained aches and pains.
While these physical symptoms may not have an obvious cause, they can be a sign that your emotional well-being is being impacted by depression.
10. Thoughts of death or suicide
Perhaps the most serious sign of depression is the presence of suicidal thoughts or ideation. Those who die of suicide usually show symptoms of depression or mental health issues at first. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Trusted Source (CDC), nearly 46000 people in the United States died from suicide in 2020. In the same year, studies also reported that 46% of American Indians and Native Americans had thoughts of suicide or self-harm.
Suppose you find yourself contemplating death, wishing you were not alive, or considering harming yourself. In that case, it is important to seek immediate help from a mental health professional or crisis intervention service.
